Your darkest secrets

Yes, I know when I say "your darkest secrets" it sounds like a horror movie or a crime thriller.

 

This post is not about any of that, but it does relate to secrets, and specifically that secret life we as crossdressers had or continue to have.

 

 

I feel I am right in thinking that each and every one of us has, not one, but many secrets. I think that's normal.

 

Perhaps the problem lies in the type of secret we wish to keep. Those secrets that for some reason we feel will affect us negatively at a family level, at work, in a personal way, if they were to become public, are the ones we most want to hide.

And keeping these kinds of secrets is very stressful and exhausting.

 

 

We as crossdressers know what it's like to have a secret that we don't want to be known, but at the same time we wish we could have someone to tell it to.

 

It is normal, and even healthy, to want to confess our secrets. Those secrets are part of our life, part of who we are and for some reason we always wish to be accepted as we are, but that will never happen if we keep hiding certain parts of ourselves from others.

 

Here it is important to point out that it is not essential to tell your secret to anyone if you do not consider it necessary.

There is a very big difference between what we could consider a secret and what is something private. If you feel good about yourself about keeping your taste for crossdressing private then it is not necessary to make it public. But if you want to take it a step further then it would be helpful to share your private life with someone else or even make it public.

 

 

Things can get complicated when you decide to live as a couple. Keeping the fact that you're a crossdresser hidden from your partner could hurt her in some way and damage your relationship, even more so if along with this you also hide your sexual preferences.

 

Ideally, in this case, you should tell her at the beginning of the relationship. I'm not saying that you should tell her on the first date, but keep in mind that you shouldn't wait too long to tell her either.

 

If you have been married for a while and you have not told your wife how much you like to dress sexy and feminine, talking to her about it can be much more complicated but it is always possible. Some time ago I wrote a post in which I left some tips that you might find useful on how to tell your wife that you are crossdresser.

 

An important point is to be honest with yourself, that is, tell your secret to yourself before telling others, and call things by their name. This is a way to take away the power that your secret has over you.

When you decide to tell your secret, you should tell all of it, not just part of it. Don't keep anything inside. That is, if you only like to dress in women's clothing, say so, but if you are also gay, say so too. It's no use telling only part of it, that's like continuing to lie to your partner.

 

I understand that being in this situation can be scary but if you handle it the right way, planning the best time to tell her, creating the right environment, with respect  and above all being honest, there is a real chance that things will work out.

 

Just a final word of caution on the subject. Even the best preparation and good intentions cannot guarantee you success at the end of the conversation. The truth is that not all women will respond positively to news like this. So be prepared for the possibility of rejection.

Good luck to you.