How to tell your wife you crossdress

Telling your wife about your taste in crossdressing is a momentous event for every crossdresser. That's why in this post we want to share some tips on how to tell your wife you crossdress.

Table of contents

• The difference between before and after
• Things not to do
• Talking to your wife

The difference between before and after

Before we go any further, we must make one thing clear: it is not the same to tell your partner your secret life before you marry her as it is to tell her after you marry her. In the first case she can decide of her own free will whether to accept you as you are or not. If you decide to hide it from her before marriage and tell her only after you marry her, you have deceived her.

I understand the reasons why you don't dare tell all your secrets to your partner from the beginning but that doesn't validate the fact that you lied to your future wife. Problems arise when you are not honest from the first moment.

Things not to do

Before we offer you our humble advice on how to talk to your wife about this important matter, we must first tell you what you should avoid doing at all costs:

• Don't even think about leaving any pictures of yourself dressed feminine for your wife to find "by accident". The only thing you will achieve is that you both start to argue and that way you will not be able to communicate.

• Don't surprise her completely dressed in a skirt and high heels (even less if they are hers). After that you probably won't have to worry about how to tell her about your feelings but rather about finding a divorce lawyer.

• If you think that "if she loves you then she should accept you as you are" you better get it out of your head.Remember that you are probably in this situation because you have not been honest with her from the beginning. Besides, if you really think that this way of thinking is correct then think that it could also apply the other way around ("if you loved your wife then you would stop to crossdress").

Talking to your wife

Before I begin I must tell you that nothing can guarantee that you will be able to convince your wives to accept your taste in women's clothing. But as I told you at the beginning, that doesn't mean that they don't have a chance of success and of being able to live their dream life (more or less).

Every woman is different and each of you should have by now an idea of how your wives might react to this news. Some women will never accept that their husbands are crossdressers, and in those cases it is better to seek the help of a therapist to mediate between the two. Other women are more open and can better tolerate such situations. It goes without saying that if you are in the second case your chances of success will increase.

In order to talk about this with your wife you must first know for sure what you really want. At first I mentioned that most crossdressers are heterosexual but that doesn't mean that's the case with you. There is no problem with that but you must know for sure otherwise you would be starting the conversation with another lie and this time you will also be lying to yourself. So be honest about what you're really looking for. It's important.

To be able to talk about this topic it is better to find a moment of great tranquility to do so. Send the kids to Grandma's house, relax and have a glass of wine. If possible, plan a weekend getaway because the conversation may be long and you don't want to interrupt it once you've started. She will certainly have a lot of questions so try to be as honest as possible. You must strive to convince her that you are not looking to change your sexual preferences (remember the previous paragraph), that you will still be her man, her husband, and that dressing differently will not change that.

Remember that your attitude should be of utmost care and respect so the fears and doubts she may have.

You must always keep in mind that she also has tastes and preferences and those are as important as yours. You must find a way to assure her that you will respect her tastes and preferences and will do what is necessary to maintain a healthy balance in all of this.

After a conversation about such a heated topic, it is quite likely that it will take some time for her to process everything, so give your wife as much time as she needs to make her decision.

Even if your wife agrees to tolerate and support your crossdressing, keep in mind that she may be doing it because she is not yet clear about how it will impact her future life as a couple. Keep in mind that after a while when she has everything more clear about what it means to have a crossdresser husband she might tell you that she doesn't want to go through with it. That decision would be completely valid and you should respect it.

If all goes well, she will accept your feminine side. When this happens, don't go crazy with emotion and start dressing all the time in corsets, garters and heels higher than your wife wears. Worse yet, to try dressing like a girl all the time. This can be terribly counterproductive.

At first go easy, your wife will need time to process all this new reality.

The best thing about living as a couple is being able to share with your loved one everything that is fulfilling and important to you, finding a way to create a new reality, one in which there is room for both your feminine side and everything your wife expects from her husband. This way you will both be happy.

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