Feelings of guilt and shame of the crossdresser

In my own journey to authenticity as a crossdresser, I have faced the emotional challenges of shame and guilt head-on. At first, stepping out of the house in feminine garments was like walking on coals; every glance seemed like a judgment, every step an internal struggle. However, I discovered that the key to overcoming these feelings lies in embracing my truth with determination and a touch of humor.

 

 

Demystifying Inner Monsters

First and foremost, it is essential to recognize that shame and guilt are emotions built on societal expectations and internal fears. For years, I felt that hiding my passion for women's fashion was the only safe option. But by confronting these feelings head-on, I transformed shame into a shield of empowerment and guilt into an engine of self-understanding.

I remember the first time I decided to go out fully dressed en femme. I was convinced everyone would notice my radical change in style. But you know what? Most people were so engrossed in their own business that they barely paid attention to me. That revelation was liberating. I understood that the shame and guilt I felt were more self-imposed than real.

Style as a shield of confidence

Going out wearing clothes that reflect my true identity was a crucial step on my path to personal acceptance. At first, every outing was a challenge, but gradually I learned to use my style as a shield of confidence. I found that the more authentic I was with myself, the easier it became to meet curious stares with a sincere smile and confident posture.

One amusing anecdote I always remember is when I decided to go shopping in an outfit I had just released. As I was walking the aisles of the store, a lady looked at me with surprise and said loudly, "How brave you are!". Instead of feeling uncomfortable, I felt proud of my decision. That comment reminded me that being authentic is an act of bravery that deserves to be celebrated.

 

Going Out into the World with Determination

Walking down the street dressed the way I really feel was a transformative challenge. At first, every step was accompanied by a racing heartbeat, but over time, that anxiety turned into a feeling of empowerment. I imagined that every curious look was a sign of respect for my courage and dedication to being who I am.

One of the most rewarding experiences was when I decided to attend a social event dressed completely feminine. At first, the idea of being the center of attention frightened me, but then I realized that most people were quite polite and pleasant, they were more interested in chatting about fashion and trends than judging my choice of wardrobe. It was a powerful reminder that people are often more understanding than we imagine.

 

 

Feeling supported

Connecting with others who shared my experience was critical to my personal growth. Finding a supportive community provided me with the safe space needed to share my challenges and triumphs without fear of judgment. Through these connections, I learned to value not only my own story, but also the stories of those who have traveled a similar path.

In my case I must admit that having the support of my wife was fundamental in my life as a crossdresser. It was not an easy road, especially that conversation with her about my taste for crossdressing, but the result was definitely worth it.

Embracing change and personal evolution

Celebrating each small accomplishment on my journey toward authenticity was a constant reminder of my ability to transform shame into strength and guilt into self-acceptance. Each time I allowed myself to evolve, I felt like I was one step closer to living a genuinely fulfilling and authentic life.

In short, facing shame and guilt as a crossdresser has been an exciting and transformative journey. By embracing my truth with determination and a positive attitude, I have learned to turn challenges into opportunities to grow, learn and shine my own light. So, like me, I encourage you to put on your best clothes, adjust your invisible crown and go out and conquer the world with the confidence of knowing that you are living your life on your own terms and celebrating your authentic inner and outer beauty.

Enjoying crossdressing in privacy

Enjoying crossdressing in privacy

In the silence of my bedroom, when the world was enveloped in the soft murmur of night, my secret sanctuary unfolded. There, in the intimacy of my space, I would find my true expression, defying gender conventions with every feminine garment I chose. Enjoying crossdressing in privacy.

This was the way I enjoyed my feminine garments in the beginning.

Each lace panty, each pantyhose, that slid over my skin was an act of courage and authenticity in a world that I felt did not understand my passion.

But this freedom, this precious refuge, was always on the edge of the abyss, threatened by the fear and anxiety that churned in my heart.

What would happen if the world discovered my innermost secret? How would those who did not understand my form of expression react? These questions, like lingering shadows, constantly haunted me, weaving a web of worry and caution.

My journey as a crossdresser was and continues to be an exciting and challenging odyssey, filled with moments of bravery and despair.

Each time I ventured outside the safety of my shelter, I faced the world with a fearful but determined heart.

Every furtive glance and subtle comment became obstacles in my path, but I pressed on, fueled by the strength of my own authenticity.

Back then, in my search for support and understanding, I found refuge in online communities, where I shared my story with others who understand my struggle.

In these spaces of solidarity, loneliness dissipated and hope bloomed like a flower in spring, reminding me that I was not alone in my journey.

Yet even in these virtual corners, danger lurked around every corner. A lapse in my online security could lead to the revelation of my deepest secret, exposing my vulnerability to an unforgiving world.

But despite the risk, I continued my quest for authenticity with unwavering determination, resisting the forces that attempted to silence my voice.

I felt that my story was one of self-love and courage.

Every feminine garment I wore was an act of resistance, a bold assertion of my right to exist in a world that often told me to hide in the shadows.

 As I continue my struggle, perhaps inspiring others to embrace their true essence with courage and pride, I know I am paving the way to a more inclusive and understanding future for all.

Ultimately, my story is one of hope and redemption.

Through self-love and resilience, perhaps I am helping to create a world where everyone can live and love freely, without fear of judgment or condemnation.

After a few years of enjoying crossdressing in privacy I met the love of my life. Eventually I had the courage to talk frankly with her about my tastes for feminine garments. She ended up being my great support, friend and confidant in this world of crossdressing.

 The charm of flirting

 In a quiet corner of the bustling city, lives a story of daring, style and a touch of mischief. He is an ordinary man by day, but by night, he becomes a glamour diva and master of flirtation.

He leads an ordinary life as a professional, but when night falls, his true self emerges in a transformation worthy of a modern fairy tale.

With a masterful ability to mix fabrics, colors and styles, he delves into the world of crossdressing with unbridled passion and unique style.

The night is young and the stage is set for her performance. With a twirl of her magic wand (or rather, her arsenal of makeup), she becomes the queen of flirting, ready to conquer hearts with her charm and dazzling style.

Her secret weapon: a red dress that fits her like a glove and highlights her curves with a touch of mystery and seduction. With every elegant step and every flirtatious glance, she attracts admiring glances and sighs of desire.

But it's not just looks that make her so irresistible; it's her sassy attitude and sharp wit that make her an unstoppable force of flirtation. With an infectious laugh and witty wordplay, she wins over her audience with ease, leaving a trail of racing hearts in her wake.

Whether in a swanky speakeasy or on a vibrant dance floor, she lights up the night with her dazzling presence and unabated energy. Because when it comes to flirting, there are no limits to creativity and charm, and she knows that better than anyone.

So the next time you see a flirty diva lighting up the night with her presence, remember tihs diva and her story of boldness, style and a touch of mischief. Because in the world of crossdressing, every night is a new opportunity to shine in all your splendor and conquer the world with your unique charm.

How to become more confident

Having self-confidence is essential in all areas in which we move. And so it is for those who decide to enter the world of crossdressing. That's why in this post you will learn how to become more confident.

 

What it takes to learn to be more confident as a crossdresser is no different than what it takes to be more confident in any other activity of your life.

 

Being confident is not something you are born with but rather a feeling you develop that allows you to have the conviction that you can succeed at whatever you want.

 

Being a crossdresser can be very stressful if you don't have the confidence to deal with it, whether it's the simple fact of wanting to buy a nice dress in a store or going out to crossdress in public for the first time.

 

It would be an exaggeration to assume that just learning how to build confidence is enough to make all your problems go away, but it will help you to have the right attitude to face them.

5 tips for building confidence as a crossdresser

Here are 5 tips that will show you the path you need to take to develop self-confidence as a crossdresser.

Be comfortable with yourself

Accepting yourself as you are is perhaps the first step in building self-confidence.

 

To accept yourself you must first know yourself, know who you are now and who you want to become, be aware of your flaws and appreciate your strengths.

In this way you will be able to value yourself, achieve emotional well-being and, ultimately, love yourself.

Stop being so hard on yourself

One of the things that every crossdresser has to deal with is the feeling of guilt.

 

Many crossdressers, if not all of us, have gone through this stage of guilt. It's when we throw away all our pretty girly clothes that we worked so hard to buy, or we delete all our photos or videos, or we leave crossdressing forums or groups, only to start all over again soon after.

 

I'm sure you all know that feeling very well. We create a vicious circle that destroys our confidence.

If actually being a crossdresser is what you want then you should stop criticizing yourself and feeling guilty about it.

Your feminine side is part of you and being able to enjoy it by wearing girly clothes should be a matter of course.

 

There are several ways to improve our treatment of ourselves. One of them is to talk to ourselves in a positive way.

What we say to ourselves as well as the words we use are important because it is the way we create our view of the world.

This is why it is important that we have a healthy and empowering conversation with ourselves.
 

Another way to show appreciation for yourself is to recognize your accomplishments and achievements, big or small.

 

If you've managed to improve your skills in makeup or walking in high heels, don't let it go unnoticed and celebrate your success. 

Overcome your limiting beliefs

Feeling doubt or anxiety about what we think of ourselves as crossdressers at the prospect of looking and feeling as feminine as a woman is a sure sign that our beliefs are limiting us from wanting to make our desires and fantasies come true.

 

We all have beliefs that represent something like absolute truth about ourselves and our world. They are very useful when they help us achieve our goals. But when these "truths" begin to prevent us from doing certain things or negatively affect our efforts and relationships, they become limiting beliefs.

 

If that's the case, it's time to ask yourself which of your beliefs are preventing you from achieving your goals. Examine those beliefs from the perspective of the new reality you want to create and replace them with new beliefs that will empower you and help you achieve what you long for.

At some point you must have said to yourself things like "I can't" or "I'm too shy". Or surely when you fantasize about walking around a mall dressed very sexy you tell yourself that "I would never dare to go out in public dressed as a lady".

If you keep telling yourself the same thing constantly, it will become for you an absolute truth. But when you change your speech, you give yourself the opportunity to change the ending of your story.

Surround yourself with good people

Try as much as possible to foster personal relationships with those who accept you as you are, support you and encourage you to be yourself, and spend less time with those negative people who don't understand or accept sexual diversity.

 

Always seek out people who will help you improve and avoid those who diminish you emotionally or physically.

Rest assured that negative and toxic people are in the minority. There will always be many more people than you think who will love and support you, and many more who simply don't care that you are a crossdresser.

 

These positive people will not necessarily be part of your family group or your close group of friends. You can also find them in advisory groups or even people you admire, mentors or life coaches.

Realize you are not alone

As obvious as it sounds, I think it is important and necessary to repeat it as many times as necessary: you're not alone.

You are not the only person who likes crossdressing and who has gone through times when you felt you didn't have what it takes to move forward.

 

Every crossdresser, no matter how self-confident she may seem now, has had her dark times at the beginning of her journey.

 

I assure you that there are many more crossdressers out there than you think and many of them are willing to help you find your way.

 

So don't suffer and be happy, enjoying crossdressing the way you decide.

Your darkest secrets

Yes, I know when I say "your darkest secrets" it sounds like a horror movie or a crime thriller.

 

This post is not about any of that, but it does relate to secrets, and specifically that secret life we as crossdressers had or continue to have.

 

 

I feel I am right in thinking that each and every one of us has, not one, but many secrets. I think that's normal.

 

Perhaps the problem lies in the type of secret we wish to keep. Those secrets that for some reason we feel will affect us negatively at a family level, at work, in a personal way, if they were to become public, are the ones we most want to hide.

And keeping these kinds of secrets is very stressful and exhausting.

 

 

We as crossdressers know what it's like to have a secret that we don't want to be known, but at the same time we wish we could have someone to tell it to.

 

It is normal, and even healthy, to want to confess our secrets. Those secrets are part of our life, part of who we are and for some reason we always wish to be accepted as we are, but that will never happen if we keep hiding certain parts of ourselves from others.

 

Here it is important to point out that it is not essential to tell your secret to anyone if you do not consider it necessary.

There is a very big difference between what we could consider a secret and what is something private. If you feel good about yourself about keeping your taste for crossdressing private then it is not necessary to make it public. But if you want to take it a step further then it would be helpful to share your private life with someone else or even make it public.

 

 

Things can get complicated when you decide to live as a couple. Keeping the fact that you're a crossdresser hidden from your partner could hurt her in some way and damage your relationship, even more so if along with this you also hide your sexual preferences.

 

Ideally, in this case, you should tell her at the beginning of the relationship. I'm not saying that you should tell her on the first date, but keep in mind that you shouldn't wait too long to tell her either.

 

If you have been married for a while and you have not told your wife how much you like to dress sexy and feminine, talking to her about it can be much more complicated but it is always possible. Some time ago I wrote a post in which I left some tips that you might find useful on how to tell your wife that you are crossdresser.

 

An important point is to be honest with yourself, that is, tell your secret to yourself before telling others, and call things by their name. This is a way to take away the power that your secret has over you.

When you decide to tell your secret, you should tell all of it, not just part of it. Don't keep anything inside. That is, if you only like to dress in women's clothing, say so, but if you are also gay, say so too. It's no use telling only part of it, that's like continuing to lie to your partner.

 

I understand that being in this situation can be scary but if you handle it the right way, planning the best time to tell her, creating the right environment, with respect  and above all being honest, there is a real chance that things will work out.

 

Just a final word of caution on the subject. Even the best preparation and good intentions cannot guarantee you success at the end of the conversation. The truth is that not all women will respond positively to news like this. So be prepared for the possibility of rejection.

Good luck to you.

How to be more feminine when crossdressing

All crossdressers love to look more feminine. That's why we dress up in pantyhose and heels every chance we get.

It is important to always keep in mind that to look feminine you must first feel feminine.

If you are interested in knowing how to be even more feminine than you already are, here are some suggestions. Read on.

It is said that a smile is a reflection of the soul. A smile can work wonders when it comes to looking feminine. Smiling is also a sign that you feel good about yourself and that always attracts good vibes to you. Just remember to always take care of your oral health.

Being attentive to details is another important point to take into consideration, not only at the level of your wardrobe or your actions, but also to the people around you. Knowing how to give value to details will increase your femininity considerably.

Another important issue to be taken into account is the way of behaving because you can't expect to look feminine if you behave like a trucker (excuse me my trucker friends but you know what I mean).

Good manners, and this goes for both those who want to look more masculine or feminine, help to make any social interaction more enjoyable so review and develop the most appropriate manners to look as feminine as you wish.

There are other details that may seem minor but are not.

An example of this is the way you sit. You will always look much more feminine if your legs are crossed or parallel and tilted. One important point to remember, try not to sit with your legs open. Although your male brain may think otherwise, that is neither feminine nor glamorous.

Just as useful as sitting properly is walking in style. We all love to walk in heels and it will certainly help you look more feminine... if you do it the right way. For that you should learn some tips for walking in heels.

In the end remember that looking feminine will depend a lot on how you feel. It's all about trust and being honest with yourself. So be a happy crossdresser and enjoy the experience.

In any case, if you have decided that you want to be more feminine, the important thing is that this change is for you.

If you want to get another perspective on femininity here is a video of the lovely Victoria Rose that I hope you find useful. Enjoy it.

April Ashley: british transgender  model

Reading the news I learned of April Ashley's passing on December 31, 2021. To tell the truth, I didn't know her story but after doing a little research I was in awe of all she accomplished during her lifetime.

VIC SINGH/SHUTTERSTOCK/REX FEATURES

The above photo dates from 1964 and is a sample of how beautiful she was.

The first years of his life were not exactly happy, she suffered from health problems and even made a couple of attempts on her own life. However, everything changed after she underwent sexual reassignment surgery.

In fact, she is now recognized as one of the first people to undergo this type of surgery.

Her life was always controversial. She was an actress, fashion model, writter and activist for transgender equality. In fact, in 2012 Ashley was appointed a Member of the Order of the British Empire (MBE) for her services in this field.

Here is a video that corresponds to one of the films that are part of the exhibition April Ashley, Portrait of a lady, presented at the Museum of Liverpool.  The voice is April's.

How to lose weight and gain a more feminine figure as a crossdresser

Like all flirtatious crossdressers, we are always very aware of our weight. We try to keep it under control in order to look sexier and more feminine.

Although many offer extreme methods and diets to achieve this quickly, you may not get the promised results.

On the other hand, before deciding to follow any diet it is highly recommended to visit a specialist in medicine and nutrition to examine you and recommend the most appropriate one for you.

Here we will only give you some recommendations that will help you reach your goal of losing weight to achieve what every hot crossdresser wants: to look beautiful and passable figure. Keep on reading.

Healthy weight loss

I guess all of us would like to lose weight overnight, as quickly as possible, but that's not a healthy goal.

Losing weight slowly but steadily is not a goal in itself, but rather a path to follow that will become a habit that will help us to maintain our desired weight and decrease the risk of suffering the "rebound effect".

The benefits of losing weight are many from improving our blood pressure, glucose and cholesterol levels, to increasing our energy levels and improving our self-esteem, and of course looking very sexy and feminine in mini skirts and short dresses. 

Before starting any weight loss regimen you must be very aware of the reason that drives you to it. Motivation plays a very important role in achieving the results you want.

It would help to define very specifically what you want to achieve by losing weight. Whether it's a health reason, or you want to look better, you must find the connection between that reason for losing weight and your values and beliefs.

After you really know why you want to lose weight, you must commit to that goal. Remember that you are not only going to lose weight, but you are going to change your lifestyle.

It's not just about eating less, losing weight involves other aspects such as physical exercise to reduce sedentary lifestyle and burn those extra calories, and the emotional aspect, which in the end will make you feel better and happier with yourself.

Seek professional help, ask your friends and family for support. All kinds of help count towards your goal of becoming a more beautiful and healthier crossdresser.

Last but not least, continuously track your progress. This will help you know what changes you can make to your weight loss routine to optimize it to your personal needs.

And always remember to reward yourself for every achievement you make on the way to reaching your weight loss goal.